“Taking your pants off and displaying your genitals to everyone is not free expression.” – Scott Wiener, a current democratic politician serving on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors.
As much as it kills me to agree with any politician (especially one with the surname ‘Wiener’), this dude has a point. Now, I’m not usually one to complain about mildly abusing the freedom of speech, campaigns of justice and other associated past times of some silly people, but in this case, I can’t help but be utterly perplexed.
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So this story is about how four people (three blokes and one woman), got arrested in a nudity protest in San Francisco, after a recent ordinance was passed, banning such a freedom in most public places. Firstly, I am aware that San Fran has a reputation of being ‘a city without inhibitions,’ but, seriously… why didn’t this ordinance pass any earlier? Take this bloke in some shoddy homemade chef-condom hat, marking a message of distaste about, the ironically named Scott Wiener. Aside from his practical yet dynamic head attire, most direct reports of this story tend to feature him for his no-stranger-to-squats ass and homegrown carpet; it’s actually quite impressive. I’d say it stretches from his head, framed by a solid beard that even Merlin himself would be proud of, right down to his bits. The point being, what in God’s name does this man believe he is achieving? He’s not making any profound, (and certainly not) dignified, political stand for human freedom. In reality, he’s just indecently exposing himself and giving poor, unsuspecting members of the American public a pair of rather sore eyes. You can bet any dollar you like that there were some urgent trips to elderly A&E that afternoon (if they weren’t themselves involved in this silly troupe of naked imbeciles). Of course the real confusion amongst the public was down to how most believed the group of protesters to be aspiring porn stars. One brave young lad asked a saucy female sign-holder, “Excuse me miss, please may I have just one kiss on the cheek?”. Yeah right.
I never fail to find amusement in what seemingly ridiculous characters take a moment such as this to be their moment of ‘showing it to the man’. It takes me back to the London riots, and to that BBC recording of some guy who was interviewed about the revolt’s intentions, and he gave some dumb contradiction of how the UK’s got no jobs, ‘so we’re smashing up shops to show em who’s boss’ or something. Yeah good one pal.
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If I were to directly compare that confused young Brit to our US counterparts in this case, at least the yank nudes have got some decent quality pink billboards, not to mention rainbow-coloured handwriting, to get their message across. Did I forget the innovative use of school board marker pens that scrawl empowering catchphrases across different body parts? One reads: ‘War is obcsene, not my body.’ I think what actually makes these naked people and their protest so threatening for Wiener, isn’t their furry bodies and freely swinging balls or saggy chests, nor their practical headwear. But really, their proper spelling. Americans speak English, after all.
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